High Heels: Gift or Curse?

Every body knows that high heels are sexy as hell!! Really, thats why we wear 'em. They make us feel sexy, they make our legs look great, and they give us hella confidence. Not to mention the fellas love it when we do wear 'em lol. But at the end of the day...pretty much ALL heels hurt like hell. Sometimes I'm in the club looking around at all of the other women wearing heels, dancing around and I ponder to myself, "I wonder if their feet hurt as bad as mine do." Thanks to my girl Keri Hilson, now I know that I'm not the only one who "can't hang". She has a song called high heels, dunno if its on her cd but its probably on Limewire (http://www.limewire.com). She says "I hate high heels, love how they look but hate how they feel." This right here reminds me of something we were discussing in my Women Studies class. The topic being sexualization, and how as women we are objects and do not really have a say in what we wear. Society, mainly men, paint a picture of what is appealing and we follow. This past weekend a young man asked me, "If they hurt, why do yall wear 'em?" I said "FOR YALL!!!" He gon say..."girl you look just as sexy in those flats." SHEESH shoulda told me that earlier!

To Love Is To Live...Is Love Dead? Because if so, so are we.

Love...its been talked about for ages. But can anyone truly form a universal definition for it? I know I can't. Sometimes love can be perfect, abusive, one-sided, withstand the test of time and sometimes love even fades. What happened to Love being normal? Nowadays sex comes first and love happens eventually. (Totally backwards) And there is also this notion that sex can be executed with *NO STRINGS ATTACHED* or *WITHOUT CATCHING FEELINGS*. Another result of the over availability of casual sex (we can blame that on the ladies who don't make men wait [refer to my blog on making em wait].) Really, I don't feel like I could have sex with someone and not feel some sort of way about them emotionally. Can't speak for the sluts though lol. But really whats wrong with Love? Love is supposed to be a wonderful thing shared by two people and its supposed to make life more enjoyable and worth living. Is the concept of true love dead? Did infidelity and casual sex kill it?

All I know is as a Libra, I'm a hopeless romantic and love makes me feel full of life. And I refuse to apologize for my feelings. If I love you...I love you...and nothing can change that. I will tell you how I feel every chance I get, because life is too short. I don't care if its too early, or even if feelings weren't supposed to have been caught. I refuse to apologize for Love. Its the air in my lungs, its the blood in my veins, its a part of me. I love like I've never been hurt and give my all. :)

Time To Show Love To My Black Brothers

I just had to take a moment to show my admiration for my beautiful black brothers. There is too much negative said about them, and I am here to even the playing field. I love black men! There is nothing like a black man, point blank. A man who shares my struggles and knows where I am coming from. Black Love is a beautiful thing, and there really is nothing like it as well. A black man is a king, and only he knows how to treat a black queen. We compliment each other and make each other better. Nothing like a strong black man who can provide and protect. I dunno about yall ladies, but I am going out there and Im gonna find my black King... :)

Ladies...Yall Gotta Learn To Make Em Wait!!!

I know we've all met the type. Smooth talking, charming, and attractive. Sort of too good to be true. Only one way to find out if he really is too good to be true, make him wait. You know what I'm talking about...in the words of Steve Harvey, "If his job makes him wait 3 months for the benefits, you should too." I'm not saying that you gotta make the man wait for years, but don't sleep with him the first night and expect him to be romantic and charming and all that crap still. Its rare that a man will wife a chick like that, primarily because the chase is over and so is the thrill. Better that as women we captivate a man's mental before proceeding to the physical. Ya feel me? Also, the less women jump into bed with a man all early, the less pressure on the next chick to give it up. Men have become spoiled out here these days, expecting sex and have even convinced themselves that "what you won't do, another girl will". Don't fall for that lame shit. If a man can't wait a measely 3 months to get to know you before he gets in your pants, he was only in it for one thing and is better off gone ANYWAY!! Plenty of fish in the sea, don't sell yourself short to please some man when he doesn't give a rat's tail about you. Trust, once you give that type of dude what he wants the sweet texts, flowers, and even phone calls stop. GAME OVER. Ladies lets save ourselves the disappointment and rope em in with our minds and not our bodies!

Rihanna Takes Chris Brown Back

I am honestly floored at this news. The man beats her to a pulp, and covers her with bite marks and she wants to reconcile, because they both "care for each other." WTF?? How hard am I shaking my head? Hard enough to get whiplash! Everyone wants to say its not our business and let them do what they want, plenty of women get abused all over the U.S. everyday and stay. NO!! I refuse. They are celebrities, therefore they left privacy behind when they signed that contract. My concern is for the children and teens who look up to them. My sister is 9 years old, if she sees someone she idolizes get battered by her man and stay, what kind of message has Rihanna sent? If your man beats you, its OK to take him back, because he's sorry and he loves you?! First of all, it might have worked when your parents said, "we only hit you because we love you", but it is not acceptable in a relationship. If someone hits you, and you stay...you've given them the green light to do it again, and again. They may even kill you. I think Rihanna is STUPID AS SHIT! I have never in my life been so disappointed in a celebrity. Where is her strength, her independence? I bet you Beyonce wouldn't have stayed with Jay-Z were they in a similar situation. Even Mariah found the strength to leave Tommy Mottola in the 90s. These stories inspire while Rihanna's disappoints. She cannot possibly have that low of a self-esteem. Goodness, THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA RIHANNA!! Why would you limit yourself to someone who treats you bad? That goes out to all of the women in a similar situation too. Even if the rumors of her pregnancy are true, her child is better off not knowing Chris Brown.

"Men Are Dogs": In His Own Words

Who hasn't heard the saying men are dogs? Seems like I hear it on a daily basis from my girls. But I never in my life thought that I would hear the very same thing from a man. I was talking to one of my boys and he broke it down, and I'm gonna warn you ladies...it's definitely NOT what you want to hear. I will label him as DG to protect his identity, but this is how the convo went:

Me: Whats missing from your relationship that you feel like going outside of it? Your girl seems nice and I know she's sleeping with you. So what is it?
DG: All guys will never be satisfied. We can lovvvvveeee the shit out of who we are with, but you will always want to fuck other girls. Dont mean you dont love your girl
Me: Really? Well I bet you wouldn't be ok with it if she was doing it too.
DG: Now here is the difference and why its no good if a woman does it. Listen closely, women form emotional attachments. They dont fuck random guys, only guys they like. And if they do it differently then they are sluts. Now with that said, if she fucks another guy that means she liked that nigga. Totally different. See niggas, we are physical. We can fuck a girl and never even want to talk to her again in life.
Me: Whoa...this is making me feel really pessimistic about finding a good man. Every man can't be like this!
DG: If you want you a good faithful man, you bettter try ugly niggas or a nigga with low self esteem. You need to redefine your definition of a "good man". Because, quite frankly the man that isnt gonna want to stray every now and then does not exist. Sorry to break it to you. Bottom line is if woman just realize you just gotta find a nigga that respects you, takes care of his business, at least makes you feel as if you're the only woman worth living for. No matter what hes doing, just don't bring that shit home, or make it obvious, or fuck up a family, or let that shit come before his family.
Me: I don't think everyone is like that though. There has to still be some faithful men out there.
DG: I am a prime example: I have a beautiful girlfriend, shes good to me, we fit perfectly actually. But, i will be lying to you if i told you i dont think about fucking another bitch every day lol. Just comes with being a man.
Me: Well damn, Ima inform my readers. This will help open the eyes of a lot of naive women.
DG: It wont help lol girls never learn

I know that's a lot to take in and I can imagine your reaction..."my man ain't like that" or "he don't speak for every man". You're right, he may not speak for everybody, but the point is he speaks for SOMEBODY. That should be enough to scare the hell outta any woman! That men have learned to act pure as gold, while they do the unthinkable behind your back. What happened to good, faithful men like some of our fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers? What happened to the men who valued women more than to lay in bed with another one? Are they now so jaded that they think its okay to participate in infidelity without any remorse or guilt? What threw me off the most was when he told me that I needed to change what I considered a good man...This is precisely why I'm single. The man that I am looking for may not exist, and even if he doesn't I refuse to settle for less...

Men Are From Mars & Women Are From Venus

Ladies and Gentlemen, this pic is soooo...self-explanatory and the major reason why relationships today are unsuccessful. Sex is the way to a man's heart and love is the way into a woman's pants. HOW ON EARTH COULD THIS POSSIBLY WORK? I know what you're probably saying, my boyfriend is not like that or if you're a guy you probably think that you are not like that. Here's an easy test to find out if that's true. Withhold sex for 6 months, just sharing affection and emotional support. I DOUBT any man could last. I was on the phone with a young man the other day, 25 years old and the topic of sex came up. He said to me, "I just let it happen." I countered with the fact that I wouldn't feel comfortable with it happening @ this point of my life unless I was in a monogomous committed relationship. So my ball park figure was 6 months. Do you know what this fool said? "I'm grown sweetheart, I don't have to wait for sex." WHAT??????? I blame those insecure sluts who lay up with a man when he ready instead of when they themselves are ready and got these fools spoiled. (Not to be confused with the strong women who use men for a nut and keep it moving **high five to yall ladies**) Like my girl Claudette from City High said "No I ain't a virgin but that don't mean I'm having sex with you" <---REALEST SHIT ANYONE EVER SAID. Where do men get off feeling as though they have some sort of entitlement to sex? I'll tell any man ANY DAY if ya can't stand the heat, get the hell out the kitchen. If you can't play by my rules...go find some loose woman who will submit to your every command...I don't play that. This is the reason why women sometimes feel used and hurt after sex, because instead of bringing the two closer...it rushes from page one to the end of the chapter. Plain and simple, no one wants to eat dinner AFTER they've already eaten dessert. Maybe they'll take it in a doggie bag if ya lucky...

Are Magazine's Brainwashing Women?

Seems like every magazine I pick up nowadays is about men. How to arouse him, wow him in bed, decode his behavior, what he notices first about you. WTF? Now don't get me wrong I love Cosmo and Glamour and they have some wonderful articles. But, how come men's magazine's don't focus their attention on those same things. How to understand women, how to PLEASE women in bed...(because a lot of y'all are clueless, or just don't care) or even how to go about winning over a woman. Society by way of television and magazines is brain washing women by making them think that the only important topics to read about are sex, and men. In its defense, this magazine also tells women how to get what they want out of sex and celebrates independent "fun, fearless females", but really is there such a need for women to please men that all of these magazines feel like they have to convey to us their ability to help us achieve it?

Etta James VS. Beyonce

I guess by now everyone has heard about the controversy surrounding Beyonce's performance at one of the many Inaugural balls. Etta James is pissed off that Beyonce performed her song at such a huge historical event. Etta feels like its a slap in the face, and said that, "Beyonce gonna get her ass whipped" for performing her song, "the same song I've been singing all my life". Now is she so wrong for being upset? She even took shots at our new President Barack Obama, "you know y'all president, the one with the big ears. he's not my president." I feel her for being mad. Someone else gets invited to the Inaugural festivities of the first black president, a HISTORICAL moment that will be remembered forever, and sings YOUR SONG. Now I can't sit here and take sides though. Beyonce had nothing to do with that. Be mad at the people who did the inviting. She had just done the movie Cadillac Records where she performed that song along with many other Etta James songs and was asked to sing it for the new president. Why wouldn't she do it?! She probably didn't even think twice about it. True, it would have been nice if she double checked with Etta if it would be OK with her, but shit B sings it better than Etta anyway. POINT BLANK! She need to take her old ass somewhere and stop hating on B. You are washed up, and can't sing how you used to...Taking shots at Barack Obama shows how senile she really is. How do you blame the man for such a trivial thing that only you cared about.

Time To Vent About....You guessed it, MEN!!!

I am soooooo fed up by men and their tactics. UGHHHH...why can't there be more men like my father around? Men who are handsome AND have a nice personality. Men who open doors, buy roses, and do not try to get you in the bed every chance they get. It really is annoying when you like someone and you KNOW that they are no good for you, but for some reason you pursue them because you want it to work out and want to be *happy*. Problem is for us women, its hard to forget the past. Its a good thing and a bad thing. Good because if you were a great man who did wonderful things before and started slacking, we don't forget and keep holding on until the man we fell in love with comes back (I know a lot of the ladies have been in that situation or can relate). Its also bad because sometimes we may have a good man in front of us and f**k it up because our last man did us wrong and we just can't get over it and trust again. But now...it seems to me that all men start acting up at the same time. Let me explain...let's say you are single, living the life and meet a guy online or at a club/bar/lounge (anywhere really) and then next time you are out you meet another guy and so forth until you have accumulated like 4-5 men. You don't talk to all of them everyday, but they are around if you are bored or feeling lonely, options really. So then maybe out of those 4-5 men, 2 are actually being seriously considered as contenders for your heart. Then one of them acts up and you're like whatever dude, do you....because you have options right? you did it the right way, your heart is protected. You take that playa out the game and put in another starter. Problem is because you lost the other player, you feel like this is it. Then *BOOM* he starts acting up. And by acting up I mean messing up like...talking to other girls, [yeah I know I am a hypocrite, so what? bite me!] not calling like he is supposed to, or even worse...arguing with you ALREADY and he aint even your man yet!!! Say it with me ladies OH HELL NO...this is supposed to be the happy moments, that make you want to build a relationship with this fool. So then you feel like you ended up with two birds in a bush and none in your hand. You wanna delete all the numbers in your cell and start over. You feel all alone once again and kinda pissed at ALL men. Why? I don't know. Maybe writing this blog will set the light bulb off in my head. Feels like there is no way to understand men, or get them to understand you or how you want them to be. Its like I only speak Chinese and they speakin to me in Spanish. Neither one hears what the other one really means and it all goes down the drain. More time wasted on another man who is just like the rest. At this point, in the state of mind I am in right now...I will tell you how I portray men. Selfish people who consider their wants as needs and your needs as wants. He NEEDS sex, and you WANT an emotional connection. UGHH!!! They accuse us of creeping and say they can't trust us, when they are the ones rushing us off the phone because their other joint is beeping in. They want all the perks of having a girlfriend, minus the commitment or the work necessary to keep us happy....I am SOOOOOOOOOO fed up and it is right on time for Valentine's Day....Great. lol no sweat...I'm an attractive woman with a great personality and will focus my mind on more important things...like school, my girls, and my family.