Forget me nots are a beautiful type of flower. They came to my mind tonight when I got a text from a guy that I haven't talked to in like a week. He texts me short meaningless responses and then calls me to talk about....nothing. The most painfully boring convos I've ever had. He said, he didn't know me well enough to pursue a relationship, yet did not even try to get to know me. He was only good for a nut, which I realized early on...and I was cool with that. But, now that I want more (not necessarily from him of course...he's a fuckin asshole), he is no longer appealing. My standards for a fuck buddy are way lower than that for a serious committed relationship (as they should be). Soooo...when he texts me a week after he told me he'd call me RIGHT back, hell yeah I'm mad. WTF? Ignore! I can't get with that shit. It's so interesting to me, how a woman can be so respectful to a fuck buddy, but a lot of dudes don't operate that way. Just bc it's a FWB situation doesn't mean you have to act uninterested until the next time you want some. Texting me some bull shit talking about you miss me. How come in the movies coming out lately (mostly white folks) are engaging in casual sex and actually hang out too? The true meaning of friends with benefits. Not make small talk, fuck, and go home. Another thing....how skewed is our society that we will share our bodies (something that has been sacred to us) with a stranger/person we barely know; and put ourselves at risk for STDs & pregnancy....but, will not put our heart out there? I'd rather have my heart broken a million times than catch something I can't get rid of, or have a baby by someone that I am not married to. But, that's just me...I am a realist and logically that shit does NOT make sense. I could sit here and blame hip hop, for the black man's degradation of the black woman...but, I won't...bc this isn't only in the black community. Hollywood is just selling this idea as the new "Happily Ever After". Two people have casual sex, spend time together, and fall for each other anyway. Movies like "No Strings Attached", "Going The Distance", & "Friends With Benefits" all have that in common as their premise. I have never ended up falling in love and committing to anyone that I've had casual sex with. And I can honestly say that all of my sexual partners except one have been casual (And by casual I mean, not a committed relationship. Not one night stands). Why is that? Another question...does a history of casual sex cause one to disconnect from emotional attachment during sex? It would make sense, whether out of habit or as a defense mechanism, or hell both. I feel as though I have jumped around a lot during this post (hope some of you were able to follow my train of thought), my main point is...why can't you establish boundaries in a FWB relationship, and still be friends? Why can't you be seen in public together, go out to dinner/movies, talk on the phone? Friends do all of that. Why is it that you have to hit it, and then forget it until it's been too long and you need it again? In his defense, he did call me on days that I was at work or that he had to work in the morning...just to talk....but, the convo didn't stimulate either of our minds. I need a man that will FORGET ME NOT.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Forget Me Not: FWBs Edition
Forget me nots are a beautiful type of flower. They came to my mind tonight when I got a text from a guy that I haven't talked to in like a week. He texts me short meaningless responses and then calls me to talk about....nothing. The most painfully boring convos I've ever had. He said, he didn't know me well enough to pursue a relationship, yet did not even try to get to know me. He was only good for a nut, which I realized early on...and I was cool with that. But, now that I want more (not necessarily from him of course...he's a fuckin asshole), he is no longer appealing. My standards for a fuck buddy are way lower than that for a serious committed relationship (as they should be). Soooo...when he texts me a week after he told me he'd call me RIGHT back, hell yeah I'm mad. WTF? Ignore! I can't get with that shit. It's so interesting to me, how a woman can be so respectful to a fuck buddy, but a lot of dudes don't operate that way. Just bc it's a FWB situation doesn't mean you have to act uninterested until the next time you want some. Texting me some bull shit talking about you miss me. How come in the movies coming out lately (mostly white folks) are engaging in casual sex and actually hang out too? The true meaning of friends with benefits. Not make small talk, fuck, and go home. Another thing....how skewed is our society that we will share our bodies (something that has been sacred to us) with a stranger/person we barely know; and put ourselves at risk for STDs & pregnancy....but, will not put our heart out there? I'd rather have my heart broken a million times than catch something I can't get rid of, or have a baby by someone that I am not married to. But, that's just me...I am a realist and logically that shit does NOT make sense. I could sit here and blame hip hop, for the black man's degradation of the black woman...but, I won't...bc this isn't only in the black community. Hollywood is just selling this idea as the new "Happily Ever After". Two people have casual sex, spend time together, and fall for each other anyway. Movies like "No Strings Attached", "Going The Distance", & "Friends With Benefits" all have that in common as their premise. I have never ended up falling in love and committing to anyone that I've had casual sex with. And I can honestly say that all of my sexual partners except one have been casual (And by casual I mean, not a committed relationship. Not one night stands). Why is that? Another question...does a history of casual sex cause one to disconnect from emotional attachment during sex? It would make sense, whether out of habit or as a defense mechanism, or hell both. I feel as though I have jumped around a lot during this post (hope some of you were able to follow my train of thought), my main point is...why can't you establish boundaries in a FWB relationship, and still be friends? Why can't you be seen in public together, go out to dinner/movies, talk on the phone? Friends do all of that. Why is it that you have to hit it, and then forget it until it's been too long and you need it again? In his defense, he did call me on days that I was at work or that he had to work in the morning...just to talk....but, the convo didn't stimulate either of our minds. I need a man that will FORGET ME NOT.
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