What Makes For A Good Man? If No One Is Perfect, Can There Possibly Be Such A Thing As The Perfect Man?

I, like many other women, have this vision in my head of what I want in a man. I want him to have many of the qualities that my father has and to also be compatible with me. I am a single woman, because it seems as though my standards are too high...now my girls always tell me not to settle, and I won't...but in reality isn't anyone you end up with going to be below your standards somehow, because standards in general can be a bit unrealistic. We can not expect every man to be perfect. Humans are imperfect by nature...where do we draw the line as to what is acceptable and what is not? If I had to name my top ten qualities that I would like to find in a man I date, they would be (in no particular order):

1. Honest, 2. Trust-worthy, 3. Faithful, 4. Attractive, 5. Good Sense of Humor, 6. Good Manners, 7. Good Hygiene, 8. Romantic, 9. Thoughtful, 10. Good in Bed (even though, if he's not...that may be something that can be improved on, keyword MAY.)

I feel like those qualities are not too much to ask for. But, then come the superficial standards. These are the standards that I have that can be a bit harder to comply with. Like he has to be in school or have a degree. If not, at least have a career. It is also important that he is good with his money and doesn't spend his paycheck and end up asking his mama for money for his rent. Ugh. He also must have the three necessaries: a car, a cellphone, and a job. If you don't have the three listed...its a major dent in your chances. I'm saying this because these are things that I have. I don't want anyone who doesn't have at least what I have, if not more. First of all, and my biggest pet peeve, is when a man asks me to come see him. I will not get in my car and go see or pick up a man with/without a car. That is your job as a man to have a vehicle, or transporation, and if you want to see me or take me out, use it to accomplish that. I honestly don't feel like thats too much to ask. Now if your cell phone is turned off for a little while or you just lost your job, that gives you a little room. I can be understanding about that. But my thing is if you don't work and can't take me out...and you have some groceries in your fridge, make us dinner. Another plus is if you live on your own, I love an independent man. I don't want to call your mama's house and ask to speak to so and so. smh. Especially at this age. Another drawback, a man with a child or children. I am not going to apologize for this, I do not and I repeat DO NOT want to date a man with a child. Especially one who doesn't take care of his children. It's such a drag and a burden on me to have to settle for my child, if we get married, to be my first and your second or third. No thanks. I want a man with no bones in his closet and no ghosts in his past. Is that too much to ask? SHIT!

So back to the big question. What makes for a good man? Is a man still a good man if he treats you great, romances you, is thoughtful, and sweet but cheats on you? He's only missing one trait. A lot of people will say no, but they themselves have overlooked some characteristics in the men they love that go completely against what it is they want in a man. I guess some qualities weigh more heavily than others, but in my opinion a cheater could never be considered a good man. I personally think that a good man, can only be one that has the majority of the qualities you want in a man. If you are impatient...then by all means settle...I choose to wait, I'd rather be alone than unhappy. :)

Thug vs. Prince Charming: Who is Mr. Right?

DISCLAIMER: Let me be the first to say that there is nothing wrong with liking a thug or being married to one...to each his own.

Everyone knows what a thug is, the one I chose to display is Gucci Mane. He definitely fits the bill. He is what most of us picture when they think of a thug. Bodies covered with an unnecessary amount of tattoos, bandanas, jeans that hang dangerously low, the need to have the freshest sneakers/clothes/jewlery but can't pay their rent/child support/car note/etc. Tough act, expressionless face, follows a set of guidelines that no one knows but other thugs. And if they are not already in the music industry...they are thinking of some hair-brained scheme to get in it...UGH!! As you can probably tell by now, I personally don't like thugs. Plain and simple. Thugs are to most women what hoochies are to most men. They look good, might be fun to sleep with...but I could never see myself wifing one. How many thugs do you know with a legitimate job? How about good credit? No kids? A 5-year plan? Exactly. So...you may be wondering, what do I like in my prince charming?

Well I would defnitely choose a suit and fresh cut, shaven/groomed facial hair over the dreads/corn rows/and fros in the sean john sweat suit. A man that cares how he looks, smells, and is perceived by others. All those tattoos can not make you look hirable to a future employer. So a man with a few tatts that can be covered with a dress shirt or polo is favorable. But, thats just the exterior. On the interior I want manners, says "yes ma'am" to his mama, opens doors, pulls out chairs...covers his mouth when he burps. Definitely NEVER farts around me, take that shit to the bathroom!!...gross and will demote you to someone who will never be wifed, please believe. Also, the ideal man takes a woman out and offers to pay. Even if its only one time, letting a woman know she is worth something as precious as your hard-earned money will make her see how self-less you are. No one likes a selfish man...and if you don't have money to take a woman out...cook for her...something! A man that only puts his hands on you to make you feel good or rubs your feet, and back and doesn't ask for anything in return. A man who makes sure a women is enjoying sex and receives pleasure. A man who gets his and rolls over or doesn't care to last until the woman gets hers like its some sort of race is definitely not worth the time...man, ladies don't we hate that!!! Not to mention the most important characteristic of a potential man...we can introduce you to our parents and they will like you, because if my dad and mom don't like you...you're out the door!

If you fit the category of thug and are proud...do you by all means, some women will settle for that...just don't bring that shit around me, because I refuse to. If I do talk to a thug its nothing but temporary, he's Mr. Right Now and I am still gonna be looking for my potential Mr. Right. You know what they say, there are those you practice with and those you practice for. :)