An Alternate Form of Genocide: Eugenics

As I was on the MSN home page, an
article popped up about involuntary sterilization in North Carolina. Of course the headline alone got my attention. I click the link (http://rockcenter.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/11/07/8640744-victims-speak-out-about-north-carolina-sterilization-program-which-targeted-women-young-girls-and-blacks) and find one of the most disturbing stories that I have ever laid eyes on. Let me summarize the story of Elaine Riddick: she was 13, got raped...and as a result the state sterilized her without her knowledge. Their reasoning? She was "promiscuous" and "feeble minded". Oh yeah, and that she didn't "get along with her peers". What kind of bull shit is that?! Really? Like you are not even going to have the decency to tell someone that you sterilized them. The only child that she has, is the one that she had as a result of being raped. The saddest part of this story is that she is one of many. There was actually a Eugenics board in NC that decided who was to be sterilized and who wasn't. Eugenics, as explained on the link, is the idea that some people are just not fit to reproduce; because of certain traits that they possess that were believed to be inherited. Who the Hell are they to play God? Ruining the lives of these young women and men (mostly black, and poor). What does it benefit society to deprive someone of the right to have children? That is a right given to us by God, and should only be taken away by that same source. What kind of world do we live in where the rich feel empowered to single-handedly exterminate a whole race or social class of people? Especially, on the basis of "poverty, promiscuity, and alcoholism" being hereditary. It seems as though, the people in power are always looking for ways to diminish the weaker group. It happened during WWII with the Jews in the concentration camps, it is constantly happening in Africa (Sudan, Rwanda, etc), and now in our backyard? Well, let me correct myself...it's always been in our backyard. The KKK and other hateful groups boasted patriotism as they murdered and terrorized people based on race. But, I guess we thought that it was behind us. What bothers me the most about this situation, is that even though the Eugenics board in NC was dismantled in 1977; they continued to do involuntary sterilization LEGALLY until 2003. Really?! This is inexcusable behavior and a blatant hatred for your fellow man. At the end of the day we all bleed red, and feel pain, why is race and social class that threatening? Don't these people have a conscience? By robbing these folks of the experience of conceiving and birthing their own child, there is nothing that can be done to repair the damages. Even if the people responsible were to be put to death, it doesn't mean that there won't be another deplorable instance in the future. "Humans are the only species that kill their own kind." Think on that and let that marinate. I pray for those that had to go through this devastating experience, and for those that committed this atrocity.

Love Lives

I remember a time in my youth, where my innocence lead me to believe that all love was pure. I believed that all love was filled with good intent, that everyone was trustworthy, and that love was everlasting. Then, I met man after man that convinced me that love only hurts. I had yet to see a love that was positive. I had yet to see the kind of love that brought two people together for a lifetime. The kind of love that comes out of nowhere and lasts the test of time. The kind of love that songs and poems are written about. True love. I am living in that moment. In the beginning stages of an amazing love. Even now, in the earliest of the stages...I am already convinced that love lives. He has renewed my belief in it. This man is the type of man that I thought only existed in my dreams. He is beyond good to me, and treats me like a queen. The look of adoration and admiration that he gives me, takes my breath away. The thought of him, and how long that I've waited for him...makes my eyes brim with tears. He is everything that I could ever want in a man. God made him specifically for me. After, waiting 4 years and sifting through the assholes...I can see why nothing ever worked out with them. It is because God had this man perfectly designed and waiting for me. I can honestly say without a doubt that he was worth the bullshit I experienced, and the wait. I would have waited 50 years for this amazing man. I'm just glad that God didn't make me wait that long. This man...is the type of man that is so great, that I wish every woman could be lucky enough to meet someone like him. This monumental man, has me correcting my sistahs that say that "niggas ain't shit". I tell them, not all men are like that. Because, I know that my baby is nothing like those men, and if a man like him exists...there must be others. I am so blessed to have him in my life, and I hope that he stays in it forever. Today I was singing, and my dad said, "someone is happy! I haven't heard you singing in a long time." That's the effect that he has on me. Only God could have sent someone so great to me. I thank Him everyday for him. I remember in my past relationship constantly reminding my ex how lucky he was to have me, now I find myself constantly telling my baby how lucky I am to have him. I see that I had to grow up and change for the better, to truly appreciate this man. Had I not been dragged through the mud, I wouldn't have appreciated the shower and change of clothes. ;) God is good.

Walking On Ice

Why is it that sometimes dating can feel like you are walking on ice? I see myself as an independent woman, that can do for herself and is fine being alone. But, once someone special comes along...something inside changes. I feel like they become my world. My mood depends on if I've heard from them/seen them that day. I miss them, and wonder what they are up to...the usual. But, the part that I don't think is normal...is that I constantly worry that they will leave me. Why do I have these abandonment issues? Must be a result of the past pain I've endured when I have let someone in emotionally. I have yet to discover what it is about me that scares people away once I fall. Maybe they weren't ready, maybe I changed, maybe it's something else altogether. Either way, as I fall...I feel as though I am walking on thin ice. Like at any moment, I could lose this person. After being single for so long, I have lost confidence in my ability to keep a man and to secure a relationship with one. I get scared that I'll let my walls down, be myself, and end up alone again. Which isn't the worst thing in the world...but, to be alone after knowing what it feels like to be with someone else is a difficult adjustment. I feel myself getting anxious as we get closer. Feeling controlling. Not wanting my love interest to go out, wanting them to constantly check in. All of this is going on behind the scenes in my head, and the guy has no idea. But, the question is why am I so insecure? I have many qualities, and feel as though I am a great catch...so why do I fear so greatly that he won't notice? Probably, because the past is such a hard thing to get past. I have seen someone go from thinking that I am the best thing since sliced bread, to not giving a fuck about me and hanging up the phone in my ear. That decline was more devastating than the relationship itself ending. When you think someone is sooooo amazing, you fear that someone else will come along and take them away from you. The thought alone of losing this person that you've waited so long for...saddens me deeply. How am I supposed to feel safe leaving a $100 bill on the ground? It's value is obvious to all that see it, and the chance that they'll want to pick it up for themselves is high. I don't like feeling like everyone is out to get me. I also, don't like feeling jealous and possesive unnecessarily. I just pray that God takes this insecurity away from me and instead gives me a feeling of peace. Peace of mind in knowing that if God has this man in mind for me, he will only be for me. I won't worry myself about if he will lose interest, find someone better, or even if he cheats when we do get together. I need to realize that I myself am a $100 bill too, and that perhaps he is equally afraid to lose me. He just happens to trust me. Trust is a funny thing...you trust too many people and you're naive and susceptible to hurt....you trust too few people, you are paranoid. Where is the middle ground? So, far actions have spoken louder than words...and they say that he only wants me. Maybe I'm not walking on ice. Maybe I am walking on layers and layers of glass. A secure foundation for me to walk on firmly and surely.