Any Volunteers?

So...I am over here discussing matters of the heart with my cousin Rahwa, and came to a conclusion. Men do not value their sex organs as highly as they do their heart and don't understand it when we do. Because it seems like a man is quick to volunteer his penis, but not his heart. Oh no, you have to work for that! Really?! How does that work out? That's not what I'm looking for. I do not want a man that tries to jump into bed with every woman they come across. Like real talk, if I tell u I don't wanna send u naked pics, or have sex with you...respect that shit and pick one of the following choices: keep talking to me, but in a respectful manner, or go find some chick that'll give you what you want. Why would I compromise my self-respect for someone who won't work with me? Ok, so I'm supposed to give you everything you want and get nothing in return? No, selfish ass! That's not fair. And I don't care that life isn't always fair, this is something that can be controlled. You can control whether or not you meet someone halfway. I'm always roped in by these Casonova ass jigelows that pretend to be a sweet guy that is so intrigued by my beauty and result in being a dog that just wanted to bone. I'm sooooo over it. Like real talk, I need a sign on my forehead that says, "if my value is limited to what's between my legs, let me know now." If I'm 23, and looking for consistency, companionship, and love....wtf am I gonna do with an asshole that justs wants to get what he can from me sexually and move on. I am not a vessel to be used for your pleasure and discarded afterwards. I honestly don't understand how someone could even look at me and even come to that conclusion...that I'm just good for sex. I am a college grad, keep myself up, have a good paying job, have my own car that I make the payments on, ( I feel like I'm constantly listing these qualities in my head b/c I still don't get it) and deserve the utmost respect. Men are supposed to be coming at me correct, or getting lost. But, they still try that dumb shit. Funny thing about that is, you can lose out on love chasing sex...but, you won't lose out on sex chasing love. Sex is inevitable in a loving, committed relationship. Just wait, and get to know the person and the sex will come. No one said that it had to be eliminated completely. I don't know what it is about men today, but they're not playing by the rules or fair. I'm not interested in your penis quite yet...I want that heart. Any volunteers?

Things I've Always Wanted To Say

So...I know everybody AND their mama can relate to this post, bc everybody has had that thought before that you kept to yourself bc it was just TOO REAL to say aloud. And sometimes it is within good reason that you keep those thoughts to yourself; some people are just NOT ready for the raw, real truth. I'm not serving it well done to y'all no more...you're gettin it RAW as ever in this one. If you don't think you're ready for this, exit that way ------------------->

Hmm...where should I begin? So much to say! My thoughts are running around my head screaming, "PICK ME! PICK ME!" Guess I'll start with my fave topic. And if you've been following my blog you know that my fave topic is dating.

Things I've Always Wanted To Say About: Dating

• Am I the only one that felt the urge to tell a man that I'm not a prude and that I promise once the wait is over the relations will take him to Nirvana? Or, "hey if it makes you feel any better, I hate waiting too...". It's like telling a kid, finish your veggies and I'll give ya a slice of cake afterwards or "this hurts me, just as much as it hurts you" lollll. But I guess that's too real.
• I have always been annoyed by someone who will text continuously for hours back-to-back, but does not pick up the phone to call...ever. I want to be like, aye...if E.T. can work a damn phone, so can your ass!
• Back in college, I always wanted to go off on dudes that want to eat all the groceries in your fridge, knowing that you're a broke college student, but have never taken you out once. Like dude, passing me the bread & wine at church does NOT count as you taking me out to eat, STOP THE MADNESS!!
• Sex in a relationship...now this is going to sound harsh...but hey, ITS REAL. I can't fake the funk, don't expect me to act like I don't know what I'm doing in the sack the first couple times. Not my fault or concern if you are intimidated by my proficiency. If you want someone to act all innocent, inexperienced, or pure...FIND A VIRGIN. Bc I cannot and will not fake the funk. Another thing I hate about sex with a boyfriend that I have always wanted to express...is that you don't always have to make love to me! That gets old and boring fast. Sometimes I need that thang beat up. *Shrugs* You can still be loving AND aggressive...that's what being passionate is.
• I don't watch sports. Point. Blank. Period. So, if you want a woman that watches sports and knows the names of players and teams and is really into it...I'm not the one. I don't get all crazy when a man says that he's not into watching Lifetime Movie Network, or make-up, or other girly things. So why is this any different? I'm not saying that I wouldn't watch with you, but I'll probably have as much enthusiasm as you would watching Platinum Weddings with me.
• I hate people who take the fun out of pleasing. Pleasing is the act of giving WILLINGLY. To feel forced takes the fun out of it. So YELLING my turn after you finish doing me...is a HUGE TURN OFF. That shit should never ever feel like work.

Things I've Always Wanted To Say About: Church

• Do people really be speaking in tongues or faking?
• If yes is the answer to first question is yes, then how come I haven't? I'm just as saved as the next person lol
• Am I the only one that feels horny after service? The devil must be playing.
• What exactly is the appropriate dress code for church? It seems like you're either over-dressed for it or under-dressed.
• Is the grape juice at Communion just Welch's grape juice that's been prayed over? Because it tastes familiar lol
• Do I have to hug and shake hands with the people in my row...I'm shy and don't know where their hands have been? :-/
• Is it a sin to leave before or arrive after offering? I know everybody's done it before at least one time.
• What does the pastor really do with all that money? All the pastors I've met drive Beamer, Benz, or Bentley's.
• Why does joining certain churches feel like joining a greek org? Some of the churches paper, and some had a process. PRAISE HIM!
• After attending church for a certain number of years, isn't there a point where the sermons start to get repetitive? The bible is but so big...does the learning ever end?

Things I've Always Wanted To Say About: Work

• How come I never call in sick, but the one time I do need to my job wanna act like it's a HUGE inconvenience? Mindy* called out sick once every week for the past 6 weeks, but I'm asking too much for needing a day off to get over this projectile vomit and violent diarrhea, huh? lol
• I will only work hard if I feel like you are paying me MORE than I deserve lol otherwise I will start out working hard and then quickly become lazy and do the bare minimum.
• How come I have to give you two weeks notice to quit, but y'all don't have to give me two weeks notice if you decide to let me go? That ain't right. AT ALL.
  
• Why is it always the days that you are starving, that the asshole that got to work AFTER you wanna take their break before you. And you know they ain't gon ask you, you just gon tell your boss, "hey I'm gonna take a break now" and they hit you with the, "sure, you can go soon as Mindy* gets back."
• Why the hell do I have a Bachelor's degree, but cannot qualify for jobs in my field. What the heck is the point of a degree if experience is more important? I could've been skipped college then! Would've saved me thousands of dollars.
• I hate when it's the end of your shift, and you are about to go punch out...and the unthinkable happens. Someone asks you to do something. You be thinking "DAMN! I was almost off the clock" and you end up staying another 30 mins. Smh
• Paychecks that are wrong urk me to the core. Like foreal...if you can't pay people correctly, you should have to pay a penalty everytime you get it wrong. Like how people have to pay overdraft and bounced check fees.

Things I've Always Wanted To Say: In General

• Dear ugly, broke, unemployed, child-having, uneducated, live at home with your mama, or in-the-closet man; I am not flattered. Do not try to talk to me, date me, have sex with me. You do not qualify. Do you go to Best Buy trying to purchase a $600 TV with only $20? Exactly. I'm over your budget, and you cannot afford; so please, treat me as such.
• If one more Indian/Bangladesh/Pakistan person approaches me in Wal-Mart telling me they own a home-based business (that they refuse to tell me specifics about) and that they are looking for "sharp" people like myself to work for them, I am going to ask for their papers.
• I hate healthy food. I hate exercise. But, since those two are the means to the end I want...I guess I have to deal.
  
• Why do people get in front of you in traffic and not wave thank you? Or when you open the door for them they act entitled and either don't take it from you and/or not say thank you. What happened to manners? Jesus please take the wheel.
• I feel like the corniest dudes make the best boyfriends. Because they'll treat you like a queen, and then you can talk about em with your girls when it's over. Can't say nothing about a fine man...lol What you gon say? "Oh yeah girl his muscles were overrated anyway." And "girl that smile wasn't all him, he had braces." lol

Well I think that's all for now. lol I wrote this while bored at work. Please don't judge me.

Porn & The Fascination With It

PORN. Everyone knows what it is, but why are we so fascinated with it? And what does the porn that we watch say about us?

Sex itself is a topic that is just starting to become less taboo thanks to its big role in modern media, but porn is still the ultimate taboo topic. We see semi-pornographic scenes in all types of movies, music videos, and even soap operas, but still very few people will openly admit to watching actual porn in the privacy of their own home I feel like everyone does it, but just doesn't feel comfortable talking about it; sort of like masturbation or premarital sex. There are so many people that put up this front that they are not sexual beings and that they do not participate in those activities when in reality they are just too embarrassed to admit it. I must say though, porn has a bad rap.

Porn is associated with sexual addiction, it's considered immoral, and unclean, but still there has to be some sort of audience for it to still thrive. One of the main reasons that there is such a fascination with porn is that it gives you a voyeuristic look into someone else's sex life. By nature, we as human beings are aroused by the idea of being watched or watching others during sexual acts. There are so many fetishes and forbidden fantasies that we would never dare tell even our closest friends or lovers, that bring us satisfaction from watching porn. It is because of this that so many people creep into sex shops with hats and sunglasses on. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating about the disguises, but if you've been to a sex shop...you can feel the tension in the air for some people. They look scared shitless about being there and like they are afraid to see someone they know. They want the sex toys and movies that turn them on, without dealing with the judgment that comes with being what they interpret as being sexually immoral. I don't remember being embaressed after leaving the movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and that movie had lots of nudity. So why is porn different? Is it because we KNOW that these people are actually having sex, versus them just being actors?

I watched some porn as research for this blog, and will not lie...I LOVE IT! I've watched porn alone, with friends, and with lovers. It is an excellent tool to use when masturbating alone, for sex education purposes, and for arousal before reenacting with a significant other. Porn provides an outlet to your deepest darkest fantasies and helps release sexual frustration. I feel as though porn is healthy to watch as long as it does not affect your REAL sex life or impair you from completing work and leaving the house.

Here are a few free sites, for your enjoyment :)

redtube.com
xvideos.com
spankwire.com