There comes a time in everyone's life where they put childish things aside and grow up. Where stagnant relationships with no future lack luster, and friendships with people who will not enrich your life become intolerable. I am only 24, but I have already started my settle down phase. I no longer desire to party at bars/clubs. I've lost the desire to wear revealing clothing. And I've found that I'd rather go without than to settle for casual sex & empty men. I haven't even tweeted anything that could be perceived as inappropriate for months. I have grown, matured, and changed so much in the past year. I put God and my family first. I am a devoted and dependable friend, and I treat others how I would like to be treated. I have had some accomplishments along the way as well, that I am super proud of. I have not had any children, in or out of wedlock. I have completed my Bachelor's degree, and will be starting my Masters in just a few weeks. I know what I want to be (Marriage Counselor with a specialization in Sex Therapy). I have a good job, that though I don't absolutely love it, I do my best at it. I have decided that I want to give back and volunteer with youth via Big Brothers, Big Sisters. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't use any drugs (unless aspirin counts lol). I have my own car that I pay for along with all of my other bills. I am emotionally prepared for love & a partnership. I have the maturity necessary to do things right. Communication, understanding, compromise, and most of all the desire to fight. Not to fight each other, but to fight for my relationship and for my other half. I am ready for the serious relationship that results in marriage. I'm ready for being with one person for the rest of my days. I've had my fun, I've lived it up. I have experienced what I've wanted to experience as a single woman. Anything left, I can experience with my mate. Whether its travel, new hobbies, etc...we could share those new experiences together and make memories. I'm ready for children, the house, the white picket fence. I'm ready. The problem? I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. Men from my past & present share the same sentiment: "You're an amazing woman, I want to marry you & have children with you one day, BUT...not now. I'm not ready." In this society, it is truly the ppl that are bad for you...that you are drawn to. But, as you mature...you see that there is no stability or predictability with those types. I am in a place where I have decided that if you aren't ready, step out of the way so that someone that is can escort me to my destination. There is no gratification in being someone's back up plan. I know what I have to offer, and if you are intimidated bc you don't think that you are good enough for me...or that you don't deserve me, I understand. I can respect a man for that honesty & move forward without any ill feelings. But, if you're questioning my worth, you will lose. Bc, to think that I'll wait around while you figure it out, is another story altogether. I plan to be long gone by the time you have that epiphany. A good woman knows her value, and always knows when to leave. After my last relationship, I have truly realized my worth. This type of self-awareness is what will help me decipher the bullshitters/time wasters, from the stayers/future builders. 2012 doesn't look any more promising than any other year, but I will say that I am secure being alone. I don't mind being ready & left to wait. Even if he keeps me waiting, he's still on time...bc he's on God's time. All of these experiences are better molding me for him. So, that I can be the best wife that I can be to him, and the best mother to our children. So until he comes into my life, I'm prom night fresh and waiting by the door. I'm ready!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
All Dressed Up With Nowhere To Go
There comes a time in everyone's life where they put childish things aside and grow up. Where stagnant relationships with no future lack luster, and friendships with people who will not enrich your life become intolerable. I am only 24, but I have already started my settle down phase. I no longer desire to party at bars/clubs. I've lost the desire to wear revealing clothing. And I've found that I'd rather go without than to settle for casual sex & empty men. I haven't even tweeted anything that could be perceived as inappropriate for months. I have grown, matured, and changed so much in the past year. I put God and my family first. I am a devoted and dependable friend, and I treat others how I would like to be treated. I have had some accomplishments along the way as well, that I am super proud of. I have not had any children, in or out of wedlock. I have completed my Bachelor's degree, and will be starting my Masters in just a few weeks. I know what I want to be (Marriage Counselor with a specialization in Sex Therapy). I have a good job, that though I don't absolutely love it, I do my best at it. I have decided that I want to give back and volunteer with youth via Big Brothers, Big Sisters. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't use any drugs (unless aspirin counts lol). I have my own car that I pay for along with all of my other bills. I am emotionally prepared for love & a partnership. I have the maturity necessary to do things right. Communication, understanding, compromise, and most of all the desire to fight. Not to fight each other, but to fight for my relationship and for my other half. I am ready for the serious relationship that results in marriage. I'm ready for being with one person for the rest of my days. I've had my fun, I've lived it up. I have experienced what I've wanted to experience as a single woman. Anything left, I can experience with my mate. Whether its travel, new hobbies, etc...we could share those new experiences together and make memories. I'm ready for children, the house, the white picket fence. I'm ready. The problem? I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go. Men from my past & present share the same sentiment: "You're an amazing woman, I want to marry you & have children with you one day, BUT...not now. I'm not ready." In this society, it is truly the ppl that are bad for you...that you are drawn to. But, as you mature...you see that there is no stability or predictability with those types. I am in a place where I have decided that if you aren't ready, step out of the way so that someone that is can escort me to my destination. There is no gratification in being someone's back up plan. I know what I have to offer, and if you are intimidated bc you don't think that you are good enough for me...or that you don't deserve me, I understand. I can respect a man for that honesty & move forward without any ill feelings. But, if you're questioning my worth, you will lose. Bc, to think that I'll wait around while you figure it out, is another story altogether. I plan to be long gone by the time you have that epiphany. A good woman knows her value, and always knows when to leave. After my last relationship, I have truly realized my worth. This type of self-awareness is what will help me decipher the bullshitters/time wasters, from the stayers/future builders. 2012 doesn't look any more promising than any other year, but I will say that I am secure being alone. I don't mind being ready & left to wait. Even if he keeps me waiting, he's still on time...bc he's on God's time. All of these experiences are better molding me for him. So, that I can be the best wife that I can be to him, and the best mother to our children. So until he comes into my life, I'm prom night fresh and waiting by the door. I'm ready!
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