Wow! Who knew that the past was so close! Only made it two months: one month (dating) & one month (officially in a relationship) before the big guy upstairs blew the whistle. I must admit that I'm pretty hurt about it. Despite the short length of our relationship, I truly love him. Even still I have no ill feelings towards him, I want good things for him, and I want him to truly find happiness. It sucks that it's not with me, but hey...what can you do? I didn't know how to be in a relationship, first of all, bc I had been single for almost 4 years. He was accustomed to relationships with ppl that were more laid back than me. So, though the courtship was wonderful and swept me off of my feet...there came a time where it subsided. Where the sweet nothings just became plain ol nothing. I didn't know what to do to fix things except complain. Complaining led to disagreements, and feelings of inadequacy on his part. Another obstacle that added to our demise was my inability to provide him with the space and freedom he needed. I love him, so of course I wanted to spend as much time as we both could together, but he missed his friends and the ability to come and go as he pleased. Both of us are good people, and would probably make great boyfriends and girlfriends to other ppl, but as for us being together...it could never have worked as it is now. As sad as I feel, especially things ending so close to Christmas time, I can say that all is not lost. I have not left this relationship empty handed. I have so much that I have learned in this short period of time:1. You cannot jump into a relationship quickly if you have trust issues. It is unfair to your partner, and will make your issues harder to deal with because now you are faced with trusting someone as you are getting to know them; basically trying to trust a perfect stranger.
2. You cannot expect someone to not see friends or go out just bc they are now in a relationship with you, that's where trust comes in.
3. You cannot try to control someone in an effort to prevent them from cheating on you. If someone wants to cheat on you, they will find a way. Plus, why wouldn't you want someone that you felt comfortable trusting? Why put yourself through the worry & grief?
4. Never give too much of yourself too early. Moderation is the key. If you give in increments, there is less to lose than to give everything at once.
5. Never beg anybody to give you attention or put you first. That is something that someone has to do willingly. If they cannot prioritize you, they are not ready for a serious relationship with you.
6. Never end a relationship out of anger. Bc even if your reasons for ending things are legitimate, you may regret it when you've cooled down.
7. And last, but not least, never tell someone of the commonalities that they share with an ex. Comparing dooms the relationship before its even started. They are an ex, bc they're no longer in the picture. Leave the past in the past.
So, like I said...definitely richer for the experience, will always love him, and I hope that we can one day be the best of friends. Til then I look forward to watching funny breakup movies like Forgetting Sarah Marshall and spending time with my girlfriends. I'm in no rush to move on. I plan to date, but I'm in no shape to be pursuing anything serious, right now. Who knows, if we maintain a friendship...maybe in a few years we could revisit the possibility of us. After we've had experiences with other people and done some growing. Only God knows. :)
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