Can a cheater change?

How much responsibility can someone take in cheating? With new diagnoses like "sex addiction" and other impulsive mental illnesses...how much responsibility can someone take for their actions? And how do you know that they won't repeat their actions. I've been in relationships where I thought someone was cheating...it was never proven...but, the thought alone drove me insane. How do you not allow that to carry over into a new relationship? If someone tells you that they've cheated in past relationships, regardless of the reason, is it believable that they could change? What if they can't trust themselves? What do you do then? I've been in a situation before where I was the guilty party, and I've been in a situation where I was the victim...situations where a guy got caught, and his gf (that I didn't even know about) called me...with all this in my rear view, it leaves me with so many questions. Is cheating an addiction that cannot be changed or is it just an excuse? I went a year without drinking, on two different occasions. I love to drink, but with the right mindset I was able to abstain...but, only for so long. Peer pressure, the genuine desire for it, and feeling like I was missing something...brought me back. I've decided to only drink on special occasions, in order to avoid any bad decisions that could be a product of over-indulging. But, back to cheating...can cheating be like drinking? You can change if you have a strong will, and genuinely want to...but, if not...it's just a matter of time before you repeat your offense. In my case, I only cheated on one person...it was the person that I was with the longest. That causes fears in me. Like, could it be that I only cheated on him bc of specific factors (unhappiness,long distance,distrust,lack of respect), or that I just can't be with one person for long? I want to believe that I can be honest, faithful, and true...but, this one incident of indiscretion has greatly affected my sense of confidence in my ability to do that. I think that with the right person, even the worst cheater could be faithful. But, in the same breath...it would be hard for me to trust someone else that's cheated in the past. But, just as someone that has never cheated has the ability to start, someone that has also has the ability to stop. Fuck it! I'm ready. I know that after four years, I'm older and wiser. I believe in my heart, that I won't repeat those same mistakes. I saw how the relationship turned for the worst afterwards. I don't ever want to hurt or be hurt like that again. I now see that faithfulness is a decision. You decide to be with one person. If, I find myself unable to maintain that, I promise to just walk away from the relationship all together. I am writing this with a stuffy/runny nose lol...so it may sound like it's all over the place. Just thinking out loud.

New song by Melanie Fiona on the same subject: