Oh Helllllllll Naw!

Let me start by saying that "Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten". That is a statistic, among many others, that I found on http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/domestic-violence-statistics/. Now, as many assholes that I've dated...they've NEVER talked crazy to me or put their hands on me. (Thank God for that!) I cannot understand for the life of me, what could motivate someone to stay with someone that does not treat them well. In the past, my complaints with men, were mostly concerning their lack of caring. They didn't care enough to keep dates, or they didn't care that I was sad and crying, they just plain didn't give a fuck. But, I have never had a man demean me by calling me names or belittling me (unless of course I cut him off, but that's to be expected...its freakin over at that point). But, to go to the next level and put your hands on a woman? I've met women that say they are strong women...and that they were just taken by surprise when their mate did lash out...and that they genuinely believed that it was a one time thing or even that they could change. My father, isn't a big man...he's about 145, about 5'7", and he has never even raised his voice to my mother. He respects her. Growing up in a household, where your parents love each other and speak to each other with that level of respect; you come to expect that same decency from someone that you date. I was discussing this with a friend, a little while ago, concerning her ex. She said that her ex, always talked down to her...and made her feel dumb. Then I asked her, has he ever hit you? She said no. I asked her again, did he ever hit you? She said...no, but he has picked me up and thrown me. WTF?! Ladies...does picking u up and throwing u not constitute as abuse? I don't even feel like verbal abuse is excusable. If a man will yell at you, or call you names...what's to say that one day he won't escalate and put hands on you? Just like any other person...if a woman was to get in your face and yell at you...you'd feel threatened right? Your heart would start pounding, and you would go into fight or flight mode. You should never feel that way with a lover. Lover = the polar opposite of fighter, remember that. There has to be a level low self-esteem, or lack of self-worth in a woman that allows herself to be mistreated. I know a woman in particular that said, "never say never". I don't think that's a fair statement. Just because you allowed a man to mishandle you, does not mean every woman would. You are supposed to love yourself more than any of these men out here...and if you don't hell yeah you're going to get your ass beat and stick around. You don't think that you're worthy of love and honor anyway. Take a second and reevaluate yourself. If you have been a victim of domestic violence and stayed, what message are you sending? It's ok for you to mistreat/abuse me, I am willing to stay if it happens again, and I love you more than I love myself. Completely unacceptable. As a woman, you need to have standards in place, of things that you will tolerate and will NOT tolerate; prior to entering a relationship. My one girl said, she was okay with yelling or arguing, as long as it didn't get physical. No! That is not okay. Now don't get me wrong, every couple is going to disagree sometime...but, to get loud with each other and in each other's face? Definitely unacceptable. IF I treat you with kindness, understanding, and respect...I expect the same treatment, if not better, from you. If you know how to communicate with each other respectfully, there should be no reason for things to get physical. Now, some women...y'all be asking for an ass whooping, and y'all know who you are. Do NOT get in a man's face, don't push him, don't call him names for NOT hitting you (ex: you not gon hit me, bc you're a punk ass bitch.), just don't provoke him period. If you provoke anyone, eventually you will get a reaction. I personally don't feel sorry for someone that pushes someone to hit them. You fuckin asked for the shit, and if you stick around after you get it...you're a dumb ass bitch. Point blank period. You need to get your self-worth, esteem, and self-respect together. Now, there is also the group of women that are not the stereotype of the slick talking woman, that nags & nags, and tries to face off with a man. These women, genuinely don't see the abuse coming. The man flips over something small, (for ex: she overcooked his eggs, not burnt, but more cooked than he wanted them) and he goes off. Yeah, you didn't provoke it, but you still have the control. It's up to you whether you accept the phony apology and gifts, or leave him alone and find someone better. Abusive men like to rush relationships. Why? Plain and simple...they can't be nice for too long, so they rush into relationships or marriage. Also, abusive men like to have you move in with them or to a state/country where you don't have a support system (friends/family). That way, they can have you to themselves...and can control you as they please. Also, abusive men...show signs way before they ever get to the point of hurting you. An abusive man is easily angered. He gets overly upset when he can't reach you, or when you are busy. An abusive man does not like when you are opinionated, or disagree with him. He makes comments that infer that he is better than you, smarter than you, and is obnoxious about it. Sadly, more times than not, abusive men never change...so your best bet is to leave that fool and work on you. I pray to God that I am never in this situation, but woman to woman...you should never let a man treat you in a disrespectful manner. You have more power over that than you think.

This song describes what I'd have to do, if a man were ever that stupid: